Dog show weekends are endlessly amusing – most of the time for what goes on in the show ring, but occasionally for other reasons. Last weekend I stayed with a friend. She lives in a lovely new townhouse development in Rosemont, MN. I tend to wake up very early in the summertime, so at 4:45 I was outside with the three dogs in the soft darkness just before dawn.
I am standing in all my early morning glory – sweatpants, wild hair, half awake eyes, and holding the leashes to three skinny, odd looking dogs. A police officer in uniform, fully armed, (thankfully without a SWAT helmet) approached me holding a monster flashlight. You know, the kind that could knock out a bull moose. Since I live a life as pure as the driven snow, I didn’t get a burst of adrenalin at the approaching officer or feel the need to run away. I politely said “Good Morning” and he replied with a good morning and went on to say “this might be a funny question, but have you seen any cows?” After a pause to think if I heard what I thought I heard, I said no, and explained I had just stepped outside. He told me that a herd of five cows had gotten out and were in the area. Even though it was the crack of dawn, my sense of the ridiculous kicked in, I just couldn’t help myself, and in my best deadpan voice I asked “Are they dangerous cows?”. He replied in all earnestness “no, they are not dangerous”. He then proceeded to shine his moose killing flashlight out into the unmaintained area that borders the housing complex. Now, at that time of day, I’m not terribly smart, but even I know that cows stand taller than the thigh-high grass and I was pretty sure if they were there we would see them without a flashlight.
Ever helpful, I asked who should I call if I saw them. He replied 911. I could just hear the operator on the other end of the line. 5 a.m. and some woman is reporting marauding domesticated animals roaming through a groomed housing complex. Hummm. I could only imagine the incredulousness she may feel and the impulse to ask me “Lady, what you been smokin’”?
I was relieved I didn’t need to make the call.